Generation Stress

Stress is a word that gets thrown around constantly…usually by adults and in relation to everything we do: “…the commute is so stressful…work is really stressful at the moment…I’m stressed about money.”

Mental health is today’s buzzword, and it seems sadly that children are now as likely to suffer the effects of stress as adults, but why?

My youngest son applied for the army this year at 16; he has always wanted to pursue a military career, but the process has been stressful, and he’s gone through more than many of his peers, whilst taking his GCSEs in the same year. As a parent it has felt daunting, so for one his age I can only imagine what he feels. My eldest at 18 has been dealing with A-levels and the minefield of the ‘what on earth do I do next’ question. But they are young adults…bordering on self-sufficient and you might say well, this is where it begins.

We recently did our annual show, Alice In Wonderland, performed in a big theatre, in front of an audience of 400 supportive parents and family (no critics there!) and it was amazing to see how the children coped. The performers ranged from 3 to 14 years old. One of my overriding memories of the day is having a conversation in the wings with a 9 year old caterpillar who asked “What show are we doing next”? I looked at him somewhat incredulously and said “Let’s get through this one, shall we”, to which he put his hand on my arm and said, “I know, it’s very stressful”. I was rather torn between laughing, and thinking that stressful really shouldn’t be in a child’s vocabulary. It certainly wasn’t when I was a child. At least, I don’t remember it being there.

Is that because in the 80s we were not exposed to the constant barrage of news and information that now floods our homes 24 hours a day? Were we just blissfully ignorant of the damage we were doing to the planet and the injustices suffered by minority cultures and different genders? It’s a rather more terrifying world to raise a child in nowadays and as parents perhaps we allow our children to pick up on those dangers and our insecurities far more than ours ever did.

I wouldn’t say I led a particularly sheltered childhood, but Newsround and the 6 o’clock news, plus conversations around the dinner table or in the classroom were pretty much my only exposure to the world outside my street or school.

The internet hadn’t really hit the scene and mobiles were hardly commonplace. It was a much simpler time. World events might as well have been in a galaxy far away to a wannabe Princess Leia who spent her leisure time playing Star Wars with the neighbouring children; my only worry was how to keep my rather fine hair in those funny bagel shapes on my head. Nowadays however, there’s no escaping the world outside. It’s constantly available at the click of a remote or the swipe of a finger.

Kids don’t get to escape it; with the many media platforms that allow anyone to be an expert on everything, a hive of intolerance and conflicting opinions, it’s no wonder they are feeling the strain. The old-style kids TV presenters with their Blue Peter Gardens and ‘answers on a postcard’ competitions have made way for YouTube commentators; react to someone reacting to something else…we don’t even need to think for ourselves anymore do we? Just like and subscribe.

I love seeing the youngest Noodlers waiting for their classes or siblings of our students playing with the toys and dressing up clothes in the venue toy corner on Saturdays. They are in their own world playing together – creating, inventing, imagining. At their age it’s all they have and all they need. But children are growing older earlier nowadays.

They are being tested far more than we ever were and expected to conform to a government ‘standard’; the future of their planet is uncertain and they’re overloaded with information, the fearful memories of Covid lockdowns start to fade, but the damage left behind is more and more visible. It’s no wonder our children are stressed. Introverted behaviour and social anxiety are something we have seen more of in classes, and are desperately trying to fix.

I don’t know the answer to child stress, but it seems to me that in a world where a screen can provide all the information, communication and entertainment you’ll ever need, perhaps this is the generation that more than any other, we need to help learn how to ‘switch off’.