Dedication, that’s what you need…
But I can’t. Because I have swimming club in an hour and to get there on time I have to leave midway through it. I can’t be bothered. It’s an effort. I want to stay at home.
But I can’t. Because I am committed to the sessions. My parents have paid for them and there are people there, coaches, teammates, who’ll be let down if I don’t show up. I tear myself away from the telly and go. I instantly feel fine as soon as I’m in the water and my health and my attitude are better for it. After all, if I hadn’t gone that week, I would have found a reason not to go the next week too, and the time after that. And my parents would have gone mad. And they wouldn’t have got their money back either, as they would not have thought to ask.
Why is this relevant to anyone? Because this memory popped up in my head recently following an email from a parent that read: “Following child X’s taster session, which he really enjoyed, he doesn’t feel he would be able to commit to coming every week for a full half term, can he come on an ad hoc basis?”
Child X is 5 years old. I was a pre-teen in the memory above. Capable of making certain decisions and old enough to understand that I needed to go because it was instilled in me from an early age.
As a child, if I tried an activity and liked it, that was it. My folks paid and I went. And if I liked it and then changed my mind halfway through the block, I still went until each session they’d paid for was used. There was certainly no bartering with the provider over whether payment should be made on the strength of my whims on the day.
From experience as a child previously and as a parent now, I know that if motivation is the issue and you give a child the choice between sitting in their PJs playing on the iPad or getting dressed and going out on a Saturday morning, then it’s all too easy for that ‘I’ll go next week’ attitude to win, every time.
Since lockdown we seem to be constantly battling a wave of commitment phobia, children who ‘don’t want to get up/want to try gymnastics this half term/or (the best) don’t want to come back because they didn’t like the lesson with a cover teacher last week.’
It seems to be something many providers face. I can’t imagine a supermarket refunding a bag of potatoes on the basis that you ate a few and then decided you didn’t want the rest of the bag, but it seems requesting a refund from us is fine. We are just a kids’ performing arts, or sports, or music class after all, and clearly not to be taken seriously – it’s just a hobby for us too, isn’t it? No, for many it’s our livelihood.
There’s a reason many clubs and classes ask for upfront payment and it isn’t a money- grabbing ruse to pay for our next yacht or private island in the Bahamas. Far from it. It guarantees a level of security for staff wages, venue hire and all the other things that go with running sessions, not to mention knowing that there are enough children there to make it fun and engaging.
Putting aside the financial aspect, isn’t it vital that children learn the importance of commitment? Flitting from one activity to another doesn’t gain you solid skills, or build friendships, or develop a passion.
In auditioning for our shows, we recognise not just those that are promising performers but those that do the legwork. Those we know will show up every week and be a part of the team, those we have seen grow through the years from shy children into confident kids because they have stuck to this one thing. Committing to any club, sport or activity is a skill young people will take through life, in whatever career they chose.
Dedication, in the words of the late, great Roy Castle, really is what you need.
Dedication’s all well and good, but if your child doesn’t want to do the classes after a few sessions, how far do you push them?
I agree, I have no problems paying up front. if they don’t like it next term fair enough but I always encourage them to carry on
It’s our job as parents to see whether our children will really enjoy extracurricular activities that we think are good for them. That what tester sessions are for. If they like tester session, they will like regular classes and you don’t need to push them – simple.