After the Break
Returning to school after the long summer break can be stressful at the best of times. However, if a split between parents has occurred during the holidays, and one parent now lives in a different place, this can present added complications.
By default, the parent who remains living in the family home will find themselves dealing with most of the arrangements as all the equipment and uniform will be there and the school will have that location as the primary contact. But the other parent will have to step up to the plate and be aware of certain practicalities that will need to be fulfilled. It is important therefore to ensure that the school is given the contact details of both parents and any new phone numbers and addresses. Equally, the parent who may not have had much dealing with the school needs to ensure they also have the school contact details to hand.
Aside from these obvious arrangements, there are other things to discuss and agree on. The financial outlay can be expensive at times: who pays for the school meals, uniform, trips, additional study guides, bus passes etc. At some point down the line, this may be sorted out in a child maintenance package but in the early days it is helpful if you can come to an amicable agreement.
The school has to be informed about the new situation in your family. This means they can be alert to any signs of stress, upset, or behavioural changes, and be on hand to offer support to your child if needed. It may also be helpful to let the parents of your children’s close friends know what has happened, so they can also report back any issues – especially in younger children.
Infant and primary schools will need to know what arrangements are in place for collecting children – especially if you are delayed. It may be that you need to bring in other people to help such as close friends or grandparents – again, the school needs to know so that they can release your children to these people.
Have a regular plan for when children are with each parent and stick to it. That way, if a sports kit or a musical instrument is needed on a certain day, you can ensure it is in the correct location.
It may be practical to have some duplicates in both residences. If your child takes sandwiches instead of having school dinners, make sure you have the right ingredients on the day when the child stays with you! If your child has a bus pass and the other parent has now moved to a different bus route – your child will either need another bus pass for the days they visit, or money for the bus fare.
Good planning for the little practicalities is essential and will make life after a separation easier both for children and for parents, especially during the hectic ‘back to school’ period.
