The One and Only

“I am the one and only! Nobody I’d rather be!” goes Chesney Hawkes” smash hit.

It’s 1991, I am dressed in a ridiculously oversized T-shirt and horrendous bright Bermuda shorts, and I love this song. I recorded it off the Top 40 (Google it) one Sunday on my tape player (Google that too) and played it on repeat (or manually rewinding it and replaying it as was the case then), belting it out for everyone to hear. It spoke to me – and many others clearly as it stayed at number one for five whole weeks. There was something in the joyous declaration of being an individual, happy in one’s own skin, not afraid to be yourself that inspired a nation.

Interesting really, as I was, and possibly still am the least likely person to buck the trend…in a crowd of people, not the one to stand up and pretend to be Spartacus or start a revolt. As the Bermuda shorts prove, I was very happy to follow the crowd, no matter how daft or badly dressed they were.

If I’m honest, the only time I am likely to be found going against the crowd is in a drama situation. We have many children in our drama classes who come alive within the safe space of a stage and feel they can play and explore without judgement. Often, performing as a character liberates people to become what they perhaps are scared to be in ‘real life’.

Individuality is an interesting concept. We are constantly fed inspirational quotes telling us to make our own way in life, follow our dreams and largely ignore anyone who tries to stop us but of course at the same time we must conform to society’s many rules and boundaries. We tell our children they can grow up to be anything, that success isn’t based on grades and academia, with plenty of examples of famous wealthy entrepreneurs, who allegedly did nothing but play hooky, but then spend hours berating them for missed homework or reminding them that they’ll get nowhere without ‘the necessary qualifications’.

Of course, no matter what you do in life you should earn it, there’s no suggestion dream careers should be handed out on a plate – but in a world where we are continually telling people to be individuals, we are flawed from the start by a school system which encourages the opposite. We all know the saying about judging a fish on its ability to climb a tree, and yet we do just that to our children, despite knowing that many of them don’t fare well with the standard style of learning practised in many schools.

When tuning in to the radio recently, I was struck by a listener’s question on why the subject of children having mobile phones, specifically smart phones, wasn’t being addressed by any party. Her concern was to do with their exposure to social media, and her argument was that basic phones capable of simple text and calling functiones should be appropriate for children up to a certain age. I think she has a point. I’m sure children would concentrate more if phones were simply communication devices. And of course, if children were only allowed by law to have a ‘dumb’ phone it would potentially remove the peer pressure to own one or save the embarrassment that comes from some families not having the means to buy one. It might also allow children freedom from the endless stream of other people’s opinions which the internet feeds us, possibly allowing them to make their own, better choices and conclusions about world issues.

It’s easy as an adult who grew up in a world without mobile phones to say ‘well we never needed them’ but it’s unfair to limit the potential they offer. I’ve spent this morning trying to get hold of my 19-year-old and letting my mind run away with me when deep down I know that, as a student, he’s probably in bed asleep at 11am. When I was at college, a weekly catch-up with the folks on the landline (you may want to Google that also) was sufficient for them to know I was alive and well.

Being yourself isn’t just about doing what you want in life, it’s about standing up for what you believe in. Dealing with peer pressure is a massive life lesson and now more than ever as the pressure comes from across the world in the form of social media as well as just from those school friends.

Perhaps our individuality should come from the power we show in simply being able to defend our life choices; not simply having a wacky dress sense or choosing to identify as a jar of marmalade, but having the confidence to say what we want and why. In the image-obsessed world of fake news and incessant content, maybe our own honesty really is the best policy. After all, in the immortal words of Chesney: “No one can be myself like I can, for this job I’m the best man and while this may be true you are the one and only you”