Bowdon Prep School: the Skill of Bouncing Back.
The Big Question: What is the difference between two children who experience adverse situations but go on to have widely different outcomes?
The Answer: Resilience!
What is Resilience?
The word resilience derives from the Latin verb resilire, meaning “to bounce back”. It’s the ability to overcome tragedy, threats, trauma and stress. We’ve all been in situations which didn’t go as planned and in life we will all have to face adversity.
Imagine holding a sponge ball in your hand. When you squeeze it, it becomes deformed and stressed but when you let go it springs back into shape. If you do the same with a drinks can, it will take a lot of time and effort to get it back into shape. We need to teach our children how to bounce back when they are ‘squeezed’.
Often, we teach resilience as a response when something negative has happened, but it must be taught from the beginning. We accept and expect that we won’t always be emotionally stable, but when we are not, we should have tools to help us quickly and smoothly get back to being emotionally secure.
So, how do we build resilience in our children?
Our strongest tool is quality relationships. School plays a highly significant part in this because we see the children so much. In school, through the building of quality relationships, with adults and their peers, we can help children form their inner voice. A child’s inner voice is not developed by them, but by the people around them, and the message they receive is the message they repeat.
These are some of the essential points:
1. Adversity is not personal – they need adults to tell them this! Tell them, “No it’s not you, it’s a part of life” (remember children are egocentric – they think everything is about them).
2. Forgiveness – teach them to forgive (not to be a ‘doormat’ but to let go of the fear, the anger, the blame – cut the cord, lighten their load).
3. It’s okay to need other people.
These messages are deeply embedded in all areas of school life. Classrooms are highly interactive environments with opportunities to share ideas, discuss, debate and feed back to each other. In school, children are surrounded by others who believe in them and help them to see that mistakes can be strengths. They recognise and reward each other’s contributions and achievements in the moment, and also value and recognise how their peers have grown and progressed in their learning over time.
At Bowdon Prep School (BPS), as in so many settings, our school values are deeply embedded and continue to reinforce positive messages to support and celebrate diversity and each child’s unique character, attributes, capabilities and needs. Resilience is taught from the Kindergarten class, right up to Year 6, with all girls following the school motto of “Believe. Persevere. Succeed (BPS)”. Pupils believe in themselves, and in their friends; they learn to always keep trying; and they know that there are many different forms of success.
We hope that one day you will visit our school, and see for yourself why our pupils are, “Willing to take on the world!” (ISI Inspection Report, November 2022 – “Excellent” in all areas).
Next School Open Day at Bowdon Prep School is on Tuesday 25 April, 09:30 – 11:00.
Register here or call 0161 928 0678 for more information.
